I’m a huge Cinderella fan. I Love her Story. Her famous quote of “Even Miracles Take a Little Time” was my quote throughout my Surgeries & Pregnancy. It’s amazing how every Pregnancy is different. Getting Pregnant for some woman is easy & for others it’s a little bit harder. For me I thought it was “Harder” But now after having my Baby Girl, The “Harder” part was just part of my Journey. Taking pregnancy tests and always reading “Negative” every month was such a bummer. I always felt I was letting my Husband down because he was ready to be a Dad for so long & I was also longing to be a Mama. Baby Announcements on Social Media of Friends & Family was starting to taste a little sour to me (I mean can I just be real here), but that’s because I wanted a “Little One on the way” too. But the only thing Sour was my Heart. After hearing the Doctors tell me to not even try having kids & to just focus on my Health affected me emotionally. Physically I healed but emotionally I was still very broken. At Church 2017 was Our Annual theme “Becoming More” and I remember telling God to help me Become More aware of my Seasons. It’s in the Seasons of Pain, Joy, Loss, Gain… where God reveals to us who He really is. In this Season He truly was my Healer. Jose & I always prayed & talked about having a Baby, What He or She would look like. We stepped out of Faith in 2015 at Disneyland praying in the Middle of Main Street after buying a Baby outfit. We prayed for Our Miracle & now it was just the waiting.
I Believe it’s in the waiting where God comes in & just does the impossible. He is the Miracle Working God. March 24, 2017 we had a Guest speaker at our Church. Nations Church Los Angeles in Northridge, California is where we serve. Pastor Robert Massbach preached that Wednesday Service. I was serving nursery that night but I was told he was praying for people after service. My Husband & I waited to get prayed for, but nothing prepared me for what I was about to hear. Pastor Robert started speaking Life, saying I was going to bear Children. But first I needed to let go of Anger, Bitterness & the Hurt. I cried. I cried like a Baby because Jesus knew exactly what I was holding on to. Pastor Robert also said “The Joy of the Lord is your strength & there is where You will find your healing”. after receiving that word from God, I knew it was time to get serious in prayer. My prayer life changed right after that. I was no longer coming to God Like “I want… I want… I want…” in prayer I started reminding God of his Promises. “God your words says Through your stripes I am healed. You are for me not against me. I will bear Children. I will bear Children because you will give me the desires of my Heart” etc etc. everyday I started praying with more authority, & everyday I would feel Breakthrough.
April 17, 2017 was my meeting place with God. I clearly remember that morning. I was cleaning the house, listening to some Worship Music & I decided to listen to a Devotional/Sermon titled “Engaging Hope in Seasons of Dissappontment”. She talked about When things don’t go our way, we lose heart. We give up on God & we live with our Emotions & our Disappointments. The more & more she was talking, the more & more I knew this Sermon was for me. “Don’t Talk to God, CRY OUT TO GOD, and let him know how broken you are. Be Honest with God. Cry, Scream, Yell… do what you have to do, But Don’t Lose Heart, Never Lose Hope”.
I was in tears & on my knees by the time the Sermon was over. I was in my bedroom. I shut the door & I cried. I sobbed. And for the First time, in a long time, I was Honest with God. I told him how hurt I was, how broken I felt, how tired I was holding on to Bitterness & The Hurt & I was ready to let it all go. After letting it all out, & laying it at his feet, I felt my Healing. Seriously! I Received my Breakthrough That morning. The next day was My Birthday so of course we Celebrated… we went to Disneyland! We got on all kinds of rides. Ate all kinds of food. I made my Birthday Wish & it came true, Because April 19th was the first day I started feeling Nauseous. Little Did I know… I was Pregnant.
“Blessed is She Who Believes that The Lord will Fulfill his Promises to Her”. Luke 1:45